either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
