At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
