I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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