Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
