I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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