you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
