i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
