she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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