so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
