hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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