just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
