Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
