Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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