Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Randomize
