you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
