I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I puked a lego.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
