i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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