do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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