She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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