She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
