I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize