dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
