I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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