Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I FOUND THE LEGS
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
