I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize