So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
