I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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