He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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