she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
