dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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