He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
