I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
