so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize