he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
