I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You are the jesus of drinking
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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