why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
