Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
