my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
