Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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