Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
