Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
