can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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