you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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