Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
