I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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