Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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