I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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