My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
