It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
