Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He shit in the fireplace
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
