I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
