come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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