Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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