Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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