whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
