And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
