Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
