You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
