Will you blow on my dice?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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