you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
